Post Break Thoughts

Easter is over, and today we at Saint Dominic Academy are back at our remote learning platform. We know now that this will continue until May 15th at least, and that the days after that are “uncertain” to say the least. The COVID- 19 virus is life changing for us all, in ways we never could have expected. The struggle to stay motivated, to stay positive and forward thinking, some days I am sure the struggle to just get up and face another day amid this pandemic, takes all of our energy and our goodwill. I’m not above admitting that there are days when being motivated is extremely hard and I have to “fake it till I make it” for the sake of Abigail. I know many of you must be doing the same thing for your children as well.

What made it harder this past week for me personally was the loss of a friend to COVID-19. I realized truly that wakes and funerals are for us, the living to come to terms with loss and to say a final farewell to a beloved family member or friend. Absent that opportunity, all we are left with is our hurting hearts, our memories, and the words we would have shared with others at that event- words that seem to choke me when I think them, as if they are lodged in my throat. Me, many of you, people across the globe are experiencing this awful sensation- the inability to truly mourn the loss of a life as well as the ability, if not to formally in front of a gathering eulogize that person, than to at least share some memories of the dearly departed in a gathering of those who loved him or her.

Everyone deserves those words, those exchanged memories, those fond glimpses into the life of one we loved. Every single life lost to this awful virus deserves an eulogy that the world should hear and yet, the eulogies play only in our heads…unwritten and unheard. My friend, a friend of my family since I was a tiny child, deserved one. And today, I hope you can bear with me for a few minutes as I just briefly capture her essence in words as best I can, and try to say goodbye.

She was a hummingbird, less than five feet and endlessly fluttering…shiny bobbed hair swinging, dangling earrings swaying, hands waving as her lilting voice went a mile a minute. From subject to subject she flitted, much like a bird going from flower to flower…a swirl of neutral linens topped with jewel toned scarves that flowed and heavy eclectic jewelry that gleamed as she sparkled with life and energy. Barely able to stay in her seat, she bounced joyfully through every event I shared with her, and her voice, as sweet as music, was peppered with “lovey” and “sweetie” and “baby” and each of those words came out as warm as a hug and as comforting as a warm cup of tea. She was beautiful, this friend who filled the lives of my parents, my brothers, and I for over forty years. She was our breath of fresh air, our whirling dervish and had we known she would whirl out of our lives so soon, our hearts may have been more heavy than they are now. Her spirit will live on, in the colors of jewels, in the blue of the sky, in the tinted glow of the sunset…and she will always be missed and loved. 

Thank you, readers, for indulging me in that tribute…to my friend and in some ways, to all who have lost a voice in their lives, a voice we each hoped we’d hear one more time. The mourning process has changed drastically right now, but we must all still remember to mourn, in our own ways and to pay tribute to those who loved us well and whose life was taken away from us long before we were ready to say goodbye.

I will keep you all in prayer- this week and in the coming weeks. May you find solace in your memories, the strength to continue moving forward amid this life shaking pandemic and the hope that God gifts us all to see the brighter days ahead. 

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