When I was six years old, I suddenly got very sick. I was in Christ Hospital in Jersey City for almost two full weeks in March. I only remember bits and pieces of my time there, but I have one memory that still stands out clear as day. It was that year that Cabbage Patch Kids were the newest craze–not sure if anyone recalls, but you had to adopt one in advance and it took so long for them to come into the local Toy’s R Us. You could not choose hair or eye color; you got what you got. And, if you recall the craze, then you recall the prices—sky high! I had not asked Santa for one that past Christmas, but while I was lying in my hospital bed, I wanted one more than anything.
My dad was working at the time in Morristown and would visit me daily before work or after work. My mom was not back to work yet, she had six year old me, my four year old brother, and my almost two year old brother. I don’t know how she found the time to be at the hospital every day, but she was there. She listened to me talk about this Cabbage Patch Kid, probably until she had a headache from it. I was going to take the “baby” I adopted to the park and put her on the swings and read her bedtime stories and have picnics with her–I realize now it was all the things I wanted to do but could not while I was sick. I realize now also that the cost of a Cabbage Patch doll, on top of the daily costs of three kids, me in Catholic school and now this hospital stay–was most likely too high for my parents at that particular time.
But my mother listened each day; I was hoping for one with red hair and green eyes, like the one in the TV commercial constantly showing in the hospital room. And she made me a promise–and she kept it. Today, at 43 years old, I can still hear her clear as day… “ Things will get better. It won’t be like this for much longer. And when you come home, we’ll go to the park and go on the swings and have a picnic…and you’ll come with me to Toys R Us one day and pick up your adopted doll. It will get better Sarah, just wait a little longer. I’m your mother and I promise you- it will be ok.”
What made me think of this, so many years later? Well, I guess it’s because mothers all over NJ and all over the United States and even the world, are probably uttering similar words–plugging in the routine activities or new expectations their daughters and sons had; activities and expectations that seem to once again be on a unknown “hold.”
You will get to go away to college; it won’t be remote forever.
You will get to go back to school…soon, I promise.
You’ll take your road test soon–you’ll be driving before you know it…trust me.
In just a little bit longer you can: see your friends inside, have a sleepover, go to dancing class, go
back to sports, and CCD classes…just hang on a bit longer.
It’s not the end of the world; you’ll have your wedding, your baby shower, your sweet sixteen –we’ll make it happen and it will be beautiful–just be patient.
Things will get better- the world won’t stay this way forever.
And for those interested in the end of my six year old story…well the day came and we went to Toy’s R Us and picked up my “baby.” She had blond hair, brown eyes, was dressed in a grey track suit and came with a yellow pacifier in her mouth. ( it’s amazing what the mind can recall!)Her name was Rena Madeline and to this day, she’s still in my house. And we went on a picnic at Hudson County Park and we went on swings and I read her bedtime stories as my mom read stories to my brothers and I think it was at six years old that I learned for the first time–my parents, my mom will not make a promise she cannot keep. I’ve had faith in that ever since—and I call her daily just to hear her say to me:
Sarah, it won’t be like this forever–just hang on–you’re doing the best you can. It will get better, I promise.
And just like that, I have the strength to go on, and the strength to make that same promise to my own daughter–just as each of you make that promise you your daughters daily. We mothers and fathers, we promise–and our children believe. They believe because they have faith in us and trust in us to make good on the promise. It’s us, the adults, who have to have faith in a higher power, and to ask for the strength and the wisdom to “hold on–just a bit longer” so that we can show our children daily, that one day soon, we’ll make all these promises come true.
Keep the faith, mothers and fathers—keep making the promises we all need right now. We know, it will get better.